Wednesday, April 17, 2013

A Letter to Jackson:

A letter to Jackson on the eve of becoming a big brother:

January 27, 2013

Dear Jackson, 

Tonight your Dad and I dropped you off at your Aunt Shel's house because tomorrow we are off to the hospital so your baby brother, Lincoln can be born.  Tonight we hugged you with mixed emotions...and even you could feel a change coming.  

We've played all of your favorite games today - Dad and I wanted to soak up one more day of showering you and only you with all of our love and attention.  Tomorrow we will be come a family of four - something that we have all been very excited about.  

I think about the day you were born often...though I feel like I have "war stories" to tell from that day - it truly was the best day of my life.  Getting to hold you with your Dad beaming by my side is a feeling I will never take for granted.  The first few days of being parents were met with such joy and excitement.  Dad and I had no idea what we were doing.  We knew nothing about bathing, feeding, or changing a baby.  But - soon you would teach us all we needed to know.  We took your lead and before we knew it - we were all pros!

As the months went on you became more than our first became our rock.  Our world was shaken as we could never have expected on August 7 - 3 months after you were born...I lost my own Dad.  You were the one thing that got us through those dark days.  Your smile lit up the room when I didn't want to turn on the light.  You were changing every day and I knew I couldn't miss a thing.  I will never be able to thank you for getting me through those dark days.  Your Dad and I had waited five years before having a child...and I have to believe God had a hand in leading us to become parents when we did.  He knew we would need you.  

The first few years of your life was such an exciting time.  We have loved watching you develop the stubborn and competitive personality you have inherited from you father.  :)  From such a young age it was obvious you would love sports.  Touting your own golf clubs since you could walk, hitting a baseball since you were two, and choosing ESPN over cartoons made it pretty obvious that this girly-girl Mom needed to brush up on sports.  Yet again - you were leading me!

Your Dad and I have also loved watching you develop your sensitive side - though you seem to crumble when someone tells you no - as if you take it very personally (I have no idea where you get this - tee hee), you also care deeply for family, friends, neighbors, and even your baby brother that will be here tomorrow.  We couldn't be more proud of this trait.  I will miss you hugging and kissing my belly each time you walk by me - I'm sure that will be traded with hugs and kisses for Lincoln.  I can't wait to watch you share your love with him.  

You continue to grow and teach me each day.  I know that will not change tomorrow when we welcome Lincoln into this world.  I cannot wait to see what else you have to share with us as the years go by.  But on the eve of you becoming a big brother I wanted to take some time to write this and place it in your baby-book.  I will forever be grateful to you for teaching me how to be a good mother.  

Tonight, before we piled into the car to drive to Aunt Shel's house - I hugged you and tears filled me eyes.  I tried to hide them from you - but when my eyes met yours - you were crying too.  I asked you why?  You said you didn't know.  But I knew.  As excited as you are about being a big brother, you knew there is a shift about to happen.  You are scared.  I am too.  But one thing I know is that once again, you will meet this new role head on - you will teach me - you will teach your Dad - you will certainly teach Lincoln with your dimples, smile, and full of heart personality.  

Thank you, son, for teaching me, and for being exactly who you are. I couldn't love you more!

All my love,



Penny/Mamaw said...

Ok so this made me cry, I could feel each step you have taken with Jackson by what you wrote even tho I was there to watch. He has taught us all so much and who knew how much love could be in such a little boy. I can't wait to see what Lincoln will be like, love these little guys more than life itself :)

Nickie Eisele said...

Kris, I'm just reading this for the first time! I never feel like I get to sit at the computer and read like I used to. I'm in tears. You are the sweetest. I loved your letter and Jackson will cherish it so much when he's older. He's one lucky boy to have such wonderful parents. You are very blessed with two beautiful little boys. I know Dad is very proud of you!!!